Hi, I'm still alive.

Well hello there,

Sooooo soooooo sorry for not posting in the longest time. But it's all been very, very busy.

A quicky about school.
I talk a lot more German in class. For one in German I have to work in this workbook that I bought that's boring as hell but the teacher knows and he also noticed that my written German is worse than my spoken German but a lot better than before. So there have been improvements. In Bio we always do these cool experiments so there's more doing than there is talking. In religion I mostly listen because I can understand mostly all of it. When I do talk it's because the teacher makes me read. The first time she made me read it was very, very embarrassing but now I've gotten used to pronouncing German words with a German accent so it's not so hard anymore.

Math is as understandable and the teacher is still cool. I HATE POWI. I wish I could make that into a shirt and wear it to school. It's the most horrible class ever. I don't even know what they do in it. I don't understand a single thing. And the worst part is the teacher. I hate everything about that class. Gym is alright because most of the people suck at volleyball. They prefer kicking the ball than hitting it. But we took a gym test (which is, by the way, the stupidest thing I have ever heard of) and apparently we're doing gymnastics for the rest of the year. o.O

English and Spanish are dandy. Though I must say I get really bored sometimes. Art is amazing, I love my teacher. He's so awesome. History is a lost cause. Chemistry is naturally hard, but there's no pressure. One thing I that is a bit awkward is that my Physics teacher grades me as if I've been speaking German for my whole life and understand every word he's saying. Which is not a bad thing because he's a really cool teacher and let's the class do a bunch of stupid shit, but sometimes I stress out 'cause honestly I feel like him grading me like a normal student means that he knows I can do it, or least has hope in me. And I suck. I took a test and got a horrible grade. But he wasn't upset and neither was I, he said exactly what I was thinking, "At least it wasn't a zero."

My friends are cool and my betreuerin is annoying as hell. But the people here are honestly great.

What I've been upto... 

Well, it's been a little over a month and you must be wondering what I've been doing. A little after I wrote my last post AFS took us on a trip to the Brauerei, the place where they make beer. Everybody talks about German beer and whatnot so I guess it was a good place to go but really all you get to see are a bunch of ginormous cylindrical containers that are said to be filled with what will in later stages become beer. Of course we also got to drink some afterwards. As much as we wanted, and we ate sausages and pretzels with the beer. Two things: Legal drinking age for beer, wine and champagne in Germany is 16. I am now 17. And the other I am a vegetarian so I didn't have sausages. Nor have I eaten bratwurst, something Germans are also very known for. Anyway, regardless of the legal drinking age I think beer tastes like crap.

All that is beer...

This is David! A fellow American!

Someime after in that same week I went to Dresden. Dresden is in the east of Germany and was, naturally, on the east side of Germany during WWII. So, it was former DDR. The thing is, people say that east Germany is less developed and not as nice as the West. However, I loved it.

It's really hard to describe and even when I try to remember what made it so awesome it's really hard to come up with a reason. It's really full of history. They have this huge wall of the kings in that area and there's this gigantic church called Frauenkirche, and there was the Christmas market, and there was a castle. It was like talking a walk in the past since there was just so much of it around. During WWII Dresden was one of the cities that was bombed so nearly all the historical buildings I was seeing had to be reconstructed. Either way I was in complete awe.

Frauenkirche.

Dresden. :)

The wall with all the kings.

The first one in line.

Dresden skyline.

 

 

On the 5th of December we cleaned our boots and put them out and in the morning look!

St. Nikolaus! 

Then somewhere near that day I baked cookies with the AFS- Giessen committee. The cookies didn't exaclty taste amazing but it was fun making them. And then in the next week it was my birthday. Honestly, I wasn't expecting anything but when I went to downstairs for breakfast there were presents on the table from all of them! I really love my host family. They're just awesome. And no matter how weird I tend to be sometimes and how much I complain about something the whole time they have accepted me and treated me great. I love them for that. <3 I turned 17 and I got a lot of hugs and lots of congratulations from people at school. It was the best even though I didn't make a ginormous party.

Being out here in another country, having to repeat who I am, where I'm from and all that nonsense to all the people I meet really makes me think about me. About who I am, where I'm from and my customs, what I like and why, and who I want to be. It makes me really think, because here I can say who I am but I no one really knows me like everyone back home. And I guess what I'm trying to say is that I feel more myself here, I've been able set the boundaries that clearly define me. I've been able to see myself from another perspective, more clearly. Because although my environment has changed there are things about me that haven't, or things about me such as interests that have grown or gotten smaller or have completely disappeared. In some cases even my behavior has changed, for the better. Sometimes it's scary but in a way really cool because when I sit and think, "I'm in Germany," it pretty much makes me feel really good about myself and whatever it is I want to do, no one can stop me. :)

Thanks for reading, sorry for not updating in the longest time, and soon Merry Christmas/Holidays and Have a Wonderful New Year!!

"They've got me on the outside looking in." -Jeremy McKinnon
Enjoy this wonderful song by a wonderful band. :) Sensitive eared people, please have caution. By the way the ending is a completely different band... I dunno why it's there.

The Carrot -Eating Trend

This post is dedicated to my two best friends back in New Jersey especially because of the religion thingy I wrote about.

Also, a lot of girls really like eating carrots here. Like they randomly take out a really big carrot and just eat it.

So today is my two month mark. What do I feel? I feel like woah. What I mean is that two months is a lot but at the same time if feels like these two months just flew by. For example it feels like I've been going to school for an eternity.

Speaking of school. Things are insanely better. For one I couldn't care less where my betreuerin goes and talks to because I finally have friends!

So just a run down of all the important school things. In German class my teacher said he was going to help me with any German that I was learning all I needed to do was buy the workbook. It seems to be test weeks and I had to take the religion test. I had a different one, but either way if you knew how religious I was you'd know how many question I got right. None.

A note about my religion class. My religion teacher is a woman, but she looks just like Severus Snape. I'm not kidding. Like just the face, not including her hair and pink glasses, she's exactly like him. And then there's this dude that sits two seats away from me and he's like a combination of Cedric Diggory and Harry Potter. Kinda like a classy nerd, but still a nerd. And then his friend who sits next to him has a stupid- looking kind of face so it's like Harry/Cedric and Ron! Every time I'm in that class it's like Harry Potter reruns in my head. It doesn't help that I'm not interested in this class that these people remind me so much of Harry Potter, because then I don't even pay attention and the teacher(Snape) insists that I participate even though I have not so elaborate German.

As miraculous as it may seem I love my math teacher. He's just so cool. Always wears cargos and teaches at a nice pace and always makes sure I understand. In Politics and Economy (abbreviated PoWi) they had a test and fortunately I didn't have to take that. The test I did try to take was Chemistry and I only answered three out of twenty-five questions. The teacher was very happy. I also had sport on Tuesday and I have volleyball.

I am a fencer. I do not play with balls. I wasn't really bad, but I was bad. But I knew some people in my class so I wasn't standing off to the side like a complete loner, and the best part was I had someone to laugh with when I did something seriously embarrassing.

In english class I'm like teacher number two. The teacher always expects me to say something, and not only that but a lot of the kids ask me sometimes if it's correct to say certain things. I've even made some friends this way because when they have oral presentation they nervously glance my way to see if they got the pronunciation right and I'll give them a small thumbs up. Also they're really interested in hearing about my school. They think really cool despite how different it is.

I switched the shitty music class for a more interesting art class. The thing is I looooooooove music in a way that's almost unimaginable. The music class I took is really, really slow. The teacher sits at a drum set with one drum stick and repeatedly hits it at a steady slow beat and we have to clap to it in the same steady slow beat. It's boring as hell. I already know how to play four instruments almost five. But I've already taken an art class in my freshman year and when they started dissecting the picture on the board (describing colors, shades, positions, lighting, angles, gestures, facial expressions if any, etc.) I knew exactly what to do. Plus the teacher is really cool.

Today we had history and even though I have no idea what going on in this class the teacher put us into groups and made us work together. There were really cool people in my group and we had some fun but also finished early. Tomorrow I have a short day and afterward I'm going to spend the day with Ana and Ploi (AFSers).

Even though I have pretty good friends in school now and people remember my name and ask for my help I'm not exactly in the "let's hang out" phase yet.

"We can still survive," -Danny Worsnop ***
WARNING. THIS IS METALCORE. LISTEN TO AT YOUR OWN RISK.

2 Schule Stunden = 1,5 Stunden

So this week went as follows...

Monday
Let me tell you one thing. The bus in the morning is full to the brim. My school is like in the middle of the freakin' woods. The city is here then you make some turns drive straight and then BAM! Woods....turn a little....school. Yeah it's takes like an hour to get there.

The teachers are really cool. The first day I had no schedule so I had to follow my liaison or betreuerin around to her classes. Monday she goes in at 9:40 so I got to sleep a little more. First class was chemistry and the teacher is like major clueless. She's teaching and everyone else behind her is talking away about their two week vacation and whatnot. It was quite obnoxious of them and several times I asked myself, "Is this a joke? Why am I here?"

But later she actually got the chance to teach and then whatever it was that I heard I have no idea what it meant because it was chemistry... in German. Then she handed out papers and she made us fill them out, my betreuerin explained to her that my German is limited and she gave me a, "Oh...?" kind of face. Kinda like "Oh, that's a shame."/"Why should I care?"/"What do I do?" face. It was really weird, but anyway I'm definitely in her class because I need chemistry. She will also be my bio teacher.

The only thing that made me feel like crud was the fact that I only knew one person in this whole entire school (liaison/betreuerin) and she sat next to me and during most of the class she was talking to her friends next to her, across he room, behind her, but not me. And it's a worse feeling than feeling like a loner, because you have someone but they won't pay attention to you.

Then next class was really interesting. It's called Ethik but it's like philosophy. It's really cool because you read a paper and then you just start talking about it. Basically it's you opinion and everyone else's except in a classroom environment where you don't start beating each other up if you disagree. It's was actually really cool except I didn't understand so much.

As for the students they were all pretty cool. I won't say they're super friendly kids, but they're not anti-social either. I walked in the classroom got a few curious glances but from then on I was pretty much absorbed into the class. It was actually a kind of relief, I honestly thought either they'd be an overwhelming crowd or a cold one but they seem to be the right kind of people for me.

Tuesday
I had more classes and let me tell you that today when I looked at the grass I was very surprised. It was covered in icy frost. It looked like snow but it hadn't precipitated overnight, it was frost covered grass. It looked white or whitish green. It was really creepy. And this morning when I left my house at 6:55 it looked like night. The moon wasn't even out and sunrise wasn't until a while after seven, almost eight.

Anyway, today I left my house only to realized the bus didn't come to that station today. It only came on Fridays. So I had to take the train. So I took the train and missed my other bus so I had to take another one. My betreuerin called me to ask where I was and when I told her I was on the bus she said to call her when I got to school because she was already going into class.

There were a bunch of students on the bus and  I remember my host dad telling me "Follow the students." So I got off when they did and followed them. After a while when I realized I had no idea where I was I remembered what my host dad said after that, "Just make sure they're going to the right school."

That's when I started to get a little nervous so I asked this "student" where she was going and literally she said, "I don't know." So then I asked her where Ost Schule was and she said again, "I don't know." Then she saw my face and nervously suggested that I asked someone else. So along I went ditching the clueless one and asked another young lady when I noticed everyone of the students going into this building that I did not recognize as my school and she told me that I was at the University.

So I quickly asked for directions to my school and luckily I was not far. But even getting to my school I ended up taking a wrong turn and took a nice long walk down an empty street. It was quite creepy but the sun had finally risen nice and high so it wasn't dark and I was able to go back. I finally made it to my school 45 minutes late.

My German teacher didn't mind at all and continued on with what he was saying. Later I realized he spoke English and he even told me that if I ever got bored in his class I could take out a book and read. Next I had math and the teacher came in also speaking English because he heard I would be in his class. He shook my hand and asked, "Sprichts du Deutsch?" (Do you speak German?) I answered with a "Nicht wirklicht" (not really) and everyone started laughing. I'm not sure why that was funny but apparently one would normally answer with "Ein bisschen." (A little bit). Anyway they got their tests back and they started to go over it and I was sitting in my seat having a mental war. I knew all the things they were doing except in an odd way I didn't remember. And it certainly did not help that the test he gave them was all word problems so I didn't understand it. Also I haven't been in school for nearly four months. Talk about a rusty brain!

Anyway after that we had economy and politics and I have no clue what went on in that class I just took the paper she gave us and began translating it, sorta. It was more like looking up every other word. But whatever she was alright with that. Then it was the end of school for me!!

Also I got my schedule and here it is:

Moday

• Biology
• Religion (WHAAAAT??!!)

Tuesday

• German
• Math
• Economy and Politics

Wednesday

• English
• German
• Chemistry
• Math
• Spanish

Thursday

• Music (YAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!)
• History
• Chemistry
• English
• Some sort of long break
• Spanish

Friday

• Methods (??)
• Physics
• Math

And that is all. Somewhere in there I'm supposed to squeeze in a Sport class. I'm still not sure where though.

Wednesday
We started off with English and it was pretty interesting since there was very little German being spoken. Anyway it's slightly boring. Then the rest of the classes went by. I midly understood something in Chemistry and we didn't have math. Then we had Spanish and the teacher made everyone in my class ask me something in Spanish and I answered in Spanish. Every time I said something they would look at me like I had eight ears. They just started Spanish this year so the amount of Spanish I speak was a bit scary for them.

Thursday
First I want to start off by saying that the only reason I was excited about going to school was because of music class and it turned out to be shit. Honestly, I walked out of that class feeling like a tractor ran over me and my expectations. The entire hour and a half we watched a movie about the Renaissance, with men in tights wearing pink and purple robes on top. It was horrible. The screen was behind me so a part of the movie was projected onto the back of my head as I sat in a highly uncomfortable position. I know I should have moved but it's extremely hard to get the nerve to stand in front of a bunch of people you don't know while they're looking in your direction, block the movie, and then pick up your chair and walk through the maze of people still looking at you to an empty spot.

I was also excited about History because I actually like it. But unfortunately for me I didn't understand, the only word I kept hearing was Romans, so I figure we're somewhere more than just a few centuries ago. Then extended boredom in the next two classes.

Finally I had this long break and I can leave school and come back so I planned to meet my friend, Ana, who goes to another school not too far from mine. So I asked my betreuerin when the next bus was coming. She told me in a half an hour, that if I was planning to go somewhere I wouldn't have time. So I called Ana and told her I wouldn't be able to go. About two minutes later I found out that my betreuerin also had the really long break and she's telling me to hurry up that we were going to miss the bus. So called Ana to tell her I was going but she was already gone. So basically I followed my betreuerin around town making errands and shit after she lied about the bus and all. I was pretty angry. I was supposed to have lunch.

I'm still angry about that and the way she pretty much ignores me in class whenever I ask her a question. Or even when we have the pauses, which are very often she just leaves me and I'm like "Now what?" She's only there and talks to me when there are no friends of her around to talk to or be with. It's really makes me feel like shit and so Friday I decided to change that.

Friday
I understand that sometimes you need to ask for help but if it's not given to you from the person you ask then you have have to find someone else. And so when my betreuerin just left with her other friend during the pause I stayed behind and talked to a group of girls that I talked before like two or three times and they seemed like really nice girls. Not to soon after she came back and said, "Are you going to stay here?" when I told her yes she left but back in class when I needed help I was not given it. She gave me the pathetic excuse that she didn't know and barely talked to me for the rest of the day.

After school I packed my bags and went to Grünberg. I had an AFS camp! And believe me after what I would have considered a first unsuccessful week at school, getting out of town was the best thing to do. Not only was I getting out of town, but I would get to see my friends again and I was itching to see them again. It had been three weeks since I'd seen most of them and the feeling of having friends was one I really needed.

As it usually happens I missed my train and arrived an hour later. It didn't seem like that was a problem though. At the train station I met a couple of new friends. From Equador, Honduras, Italy, Bosnia, and Thailand. So now I have two friends from Thailand. :)

Anyway, we went to a youth hostel and ate and then had a small session with the AFS councilors and then we were supposed to go to sleep so that we could wake up a seven the next day. But some people stayed in the main area for a while and then a time later we split up some stayed even longer and others left to their bunk-room things. There we talked and shared our experiences so far and what we thought about things.

Saturday
Early in the morning in the girls' bunk several alarm clocks rang but were immediately turned off. Several minutes later there was a highly annoying knocking on the door. Then again, then again until someone told them they were awake... which wasn't necessarily true. Anyhow, in the next hour more these girls quickly took turns taking showers and got ready and headed off to breakfast.

After breakfast the entire AFS group met up and was spilt up into groups of three and each group was given an apple. They told us to go to the city and to find someone who would trade our apple for something else and to continue trading. We had two hours.

The part of Grünberg we were in was like a ginormous lawn. There was like nothing there and it always smelled like horse poop. So we had to walk a bit until we got to the city. Then afterwards when we got there I thought, "People are going to look at us as if we are crazy." But as it turns out people are really okey with trading their things for something else.

This was the sequence of trading. Apple- yellow pepper- würst (sausage)-2 duplos and 2 tangerines- badminton set with two birdies. Somewhere in there an old man didn't want our pepper but he gave us a pocket knife. And another man didn't want our würst so he gave a newspaper, and later we traded the newspaper for two magazines. So total we had 2 magazines, the badminton thingy, and a pocket knife. All for an apple. The only bad thing was that on our way back to the hostel we got lost.

We had a few more sessions and then we had like an hour and a half break. During that hour and a half I picked up a badminton racket and started practicing fencing moves. My friend Javier was interested and wanted to fence too. Of course we had badminton rackets, no equipment, and no space. So we went outside and I taught him most of the basics as best as possible and we fenced. Some people walked by and watched but I thought it was pretty cool because I haven't fenced in the longest time and it was really fun.

Later that night we went for a walk in the forest while it was really dark. We walked not to much but there were several uphills that were killer but we when we made it to our destination we were quite surprised. It was a small meadow and we sat on haystacks and read a story in German. It was really beautiful. There were stars everywhere in the sky. We ate some chocolate and then we went back.

Sunday
We left this day and honestly I was quite sad. The camp was really short but it was a lot more fun than I ever thought it would be. I also very much enjoyed the company of my friends which I had missed so much! And also I just really don't want to go back to school. Honestly, school seems impossible to me. I don't have friends, I don't understand and I don't even know if I can turn to my betreuerin for help anymore. I really, really wished I could have stayed maybe a day longer just to be truly enjoying myself. But apparently I'm not the only one with school troubles. I just hope that soon I can get through this rough spot.

And now for something completely different...














My cyclops- pumpkin, Erik.Happy Halloween!!!



"So don't give up, stand 'till the end," -Joe Jonas
Sorry it's so long! And yes... Jonas Brothers. Here is the link.

Blogging and Agonizing

What a difficult job it is to blog. Whenever I think about blogging something I don't have the time and whenever I have the time I don't remember what it was that I wanted to write.

But anyhow I'll give you a little insight to what I've done not so long ago. This weekend I went to the annual Frankfurt Buchmesse. First off, let me tell you a little about it. It's the largest book fair in the world and yes, it was huge! I believe the building they have it in is used only for the buchmesse and then as an office kind of thing the rest of the year.

The ginormous building was split up into halls and each hall was about three floors high and quite wide in both directions. And total I think there were eleven halls, so yeah it was big. Big enough to have a bus service to take you from one place hall to the next hall. Honestly, it was sooooo big.

There were all the kinds of books you can imagine. No joke. There was books for children, teens, adults, old people. Biographies, fantasies (fiction), non- fiction, knitting, cars, naked people, comics, anime, and also international publishers were present. They had some authors read out of their books to interest people, some places were they talked about the development of the book and the dude who invented the printing press and a model to show you how it first worked. Other halls, such as the comics and anime, were full of people dressed up as their favorite characters! And honestly I was in there most of the time completely fascinated. It felt like this weird version of Halloween were I'm not dressed up but everyone else is dressed up as a character from a comic/anime and there was a lot of books instead of candy. It was really cool.

People here really know how to dress up. They had makeup, wigs, nails, fake pointy ears, fake fangs, contacts and the accessories- they were super. If only I knew people were going to dress up. : /
But anyway the buchmesse every year focuses on a specific country and this year it was Iceland. They had this huge black room filled with enormous screens of Icelandic scenery, huge bookshelves with all about Iceland and the people. On some of the really big screens there were Icelandic people reading a book, live. Like they just sat there reading a book and every minute or so they would turn the page. Frankly, I found that a little strange.

The only bad thing is that I went on a Saturday. Had I gone on Sunday, the last day, I might have been able to buy some books for a really good price.

However Sunday I was busy. I went to one of my host parent's friends house for a party. My host parent's friends are Iranian. At first I was like, "Oh... I thought they were Turkish..." But then after a while of being there it reminded me of back home. Back home I know a lot of people from the middle east and I hadn't realized how at home I felt with their way of being. They were all extremely friendly. Like the father, as soon as I walk in the door  he was like, "Oh, the American! Can you speak German?" so I said a little and he laughed and said, "Yeah, me too." And some other time later one of the guys that sat at my table eating randomly asked me if I liked potato salad and I told him yes, I love potatoes. So he showed me to another table and told me that I had to try the potato salad, it was amazing. And then this girl when I left she ran over to the door and hugged me goodbye, and I'd only known her for like four hours.

I really enjoyed my time there. It was really something I wasn't expecting but turned out to be quite spectacular. And they're food is soooooo good. It's almost like the food I eat at home but maybe just a little more spicy but it was so freaking good. I would have eaten like five plates if they would all fit.

And today I went to school and then two more days and then real school starts. I AM SO NERVOUS. But anyway, today is my host brother's birthday and he got this really cool new computer and I got him a book that I really liked (but in German) and also wrote him a little card full of insiders. I think he really liked it, even though my German was not so good.

Also I think you should know that I am completely agonizing right now. One of my favorite bands is on tour and their in Germany right now... Yesterday they were in Hamburg, today in Berlin and tomorrow in Munchen. You have no idea how much I wanted to go to the concert in Munchen but it's a seven hour train ride there and then back. First off, it really expensive if I buy a ticket today for tomorrow to Munchen, second if I went I'd  have to stay over night by myself or, if I decided to come back right away I'd get home at like three a.m. and lastly, I didn't tell AFS so no matter what I wouldn't be able to go. asdfghjkl  So in honor of it all, tomorrow, to school I will dress in the BVB fashion, kinda. I already told my host mom and my teacher and I was given the "ok." So yeah... my nail are drying right now, and they're black and later I must do something with my hair, and find out exactly how my make up will be assembled onto my face.Truly, I am super excited. I can't wait till tomorrow. You have no idea how much I love this band. If I was music I think I would sound like them, most of the time anyway... So yeah, if I can't go to the concert then I'll make one of my own. ;)

"When your life becomes a war, set the world on fire."- Andy Biersack
If you've liked my music so far, please, do yourself a favor and click here!

I'm blue in the face

It's finally Autumn vacation. We have two weeks off from school, except I still have to go for six more days.

Recently I've been feeling like I'm tripping over my feet. Today is a month from when I got here. Yesterday we had dinner in this cool place because of that. It's called the Dachcafé, and it's the tallest building in Giessen and it's only about 13 or 14 stories high. I felt a bit a wistful. You get to sit at the top of the building inside or on their terrace but it was too cold. My host mom reserved us a table by the windows. The view was absolutely beautiful but it I couldn't help thinking about the tall New York buildings and what it was like to look down from the top of the Empire State Building and I also thought about that picture I have on my fridge at home of me when I was about five. I was at the twin towers and behind me you could see everything that looked like little mini things.

Also when I was in Frankfurt everything was like an echo of New York. So many tourists, bridges, shopping centers, even a river! I was far from impressed, I felt sad. Though it was a lot like New York, it wasn't polluted, it wasn't as noisy and there were no yellow taxis everywhere. Everything seems to remind me of where I'm really from and who I really am.

The worst part is that no matter how hard I try to keep a smile on my face my host mom has noticed that I haven't been acting the same. Yesterday while we were at dinner she asked me if I felt homesick I said no, but instantly I knew that that wasn't true. And she noticed my expression and asked me what it was I missed and I just spilled it out without thinking. Familiarity. I felt really bad because I knew all of them were doing an effort to make me feel well.

Nonetheless I miss my friends and having the confidence of telling them anything. I miss sleeping in being one of those rare pleasures. I miss hugs. And I miss having a grandma around to yell at me and to hug just because.

To my surprise though, it's now that everything is starting to fit in. Though my German is still crappy I can understand a lot. Yesterday, my host sister and I actually had several conversations and she feels more sister like to me. She thinks I have a cute nose...  My host brother was as awesome as ever and my host mom was a lot closer to me than usual, in a very mom-like kind of way. This morning my host dad made me some coffee as we had a fairly casual conversation and now I feel totally confused.

The moment everything starts clicking into place here in Germany, is the moment I want to go back to what I knew even with my eyes closed. I don't know.

"I'm no longer running smooth," -Matt Skiba
The Link,

German Reunification Day

In seven days I'd have been in Germany for a month. I'm not sure if I should feel like it's going by fast or slow. Sometimes it feels slow but other days (especially days with routine) slip by like water through fingers.

Nonetheless, if you measure all that I've done it's definitely been a lot. Every Wednesday with the Sprachkurs we go somewhere. I think two weeks ago we went the Matematikum, which is this math museum. It may sounds boring but it was actually pretty decent with a bunch of displays and puzzles of all sorts. I took a ton of pictures but unfortunately something happened to my camera and I ended up picture-less.

The next week we went to someplace I can't remember, but the week after that we went to this really popular bookstore in Germany and let me tell you Barnes and Nobel can't compete. Next week we'll be going to Frankfurt. We'll have a group tour and then two or three hours to ourselves to explore Frankfurt!

But in between I've also done a lot. Friday when I got home from school I got into the car with my host parents and went apple picking in this field that my host dad owns. There I met my host dad's son (with another lady) who is technically my other host brother. I also met his girlfriend and her parents who were also apple picking.

The next day we went back, this time with  Darius and his friend and we picked some more apples. Then we took those apples to my other host brother's girlfriend's house and we made the 20 sacks of apples into apple juice. You bet your ass that was a lot of juice.

Then somewhere else in between I attended two birthday parties. One in Hüttenberg and the other in Lehnheim. Both of them were country like cities as opposed to mine which is a bit country-ish but compared to the others definitely city.

Somewhere else in between that I had a Welcoming Party where I met some of my neighbors and they're kids. They all brought me presents which was really nice of them considering I didn't know them. They're kids are super nice and adorable... all little girls. My neighbor, friend of Darius also came and my liaison, Lea came as well. We four played table tennis for a long time and then moved on other activities.

Then yesterday I drew for hours and was able to finally put them up as decorations in my room. They're like mini posters of things that mean a lot to me. My music, my books, my people.

Today I went for a four hour and a half bike ride with my host family and my host brother's neighbor friend. Let me tell you I am totally out of shape in the legs, which is quite embarrassing especially for a fencer. I do daily exercise but not in my legs.

Just a few other thoughts. I told my host mom that I'm losing weight because my pants kept falling anytime we walked and I forgot my belt. She freaked out. I laughed and told her it was okey, probably just some emotional/cultural adjustment still going on. But really I think it's the exercise I do. Also sometime after I start real school I'll be joining a gym thingy for fencers and possibly a arching (as in like bow and arrow) one too, if I can convince Darius to go with me.

My German is soooo much better. My host dad speaks no english and I've been having conversations with him more and more often. My host mom speaks more German to me than english and so have I. I understand so much at the dinner table conversations and I even catch some of the jokes and can say some funny things myself.

But, sometimes I find myself looking at someone thinking, "Can you help me understand?" Just like Craig Mabbit.
Here is the link.
But if you like it you must check out the music video.
Tschüss!!
 

Onions and Minions

Hallo
It's been a little over a week and I've been through a lot.
Emotionally, it's been a roller coaster. Sometimes I feel, "Wow, this is so epic!" and then sometimes I feel like shit, to put it bluntly. But I can't blame my host family because they are the best. I still feel a little awkward around my host sister but everyone else is swell. My host mom is super and my host dad helps me with homework and my host brother and I play chess, computer games, and watch videos. But then my host sister, I only see her when she comes down to eat dinner. The rest of the time she's in her room or working. At the dinner table she speaks only German and then when the whole table gets going I'm just kinda on the side not really understanding what they say and it makes me feel like I use up space.

I can't participate in the conversation because I only understand phrases (which, by the way, is a huge improvement from when I got here) but still can't exactly say anything coherent. Due to my frustration sometimes I feel like I hear way too much German and read a book in English to keep myself slightly sane.

But I try insanely hard to work my way to the surface again. For example yesterday I did not seclude myself no matter how bad I really wanted to go to my room and sleep to forget my troubles. Rather I stayed with my host mom and made a new plan to get to school and she made me laugh incredibly hard when she called my friend Ploi, Plo.

Another thing I did was hang out with friends. If you ever go on an exchange program ask for permission to go out. The first few days I'd be the last to leave and the first to get here, so it was very lonely sometimes. But my host mom told me, "Go out with you're friends. Don't come home right away, you'll be by yourself for too long." So I did just that. When my friends and I get out from Sprachkurs we walk to the Marktplatz, which is this shopping center and we just loiter and talk and laugh and eat. Friends include: Ploi, Ana Maria, Laura, Tom(ohiro), John, Kevin, and Javier. There's also David but he goes home.

Today Tom offered me a drink of his beer and so I decided to try it. Tastes like scheisse. But I suppose I'll get used to it, since drinking is a social activity. I ordered a sandwich in German at Subway... but I did use some pointing.

But as for how I'm getting along, for the most part well except for those random spurts of "I feel lost," moments. Also I met my liaison Lea, and she's super cool. Since my German is crap and her English isn't so good we speak in Spanish. Haha, she went with AFS to Costa Rica and got back this summer. She offered for me to go to her house to ride horses and she goes to the same school I'll be going to!

And now, enough blabber and some pictures!

Me and my roommate, Kelsey!

Emma, David and his cello.

Kiera and Eliza!

First picture I took in Germany was of our ginormous plane.

Funny lady.

Ma room!

The reason it looks so orange is because one wall is orange the curtains are orange and the the lamp casts a red-ish light.

I am in desperate need of posters.

Sorry, about the lopsided picture, but this was in Fulda

Awkwardly standing.

Witch tower.

That says 1548. That funny number is a half eight and the crown means that this was the preferred bakery of the palace.

Last lopsided picture, I promise.

Giessen AFSers ftw!

Giessen AFSers, returnees, and liaisons in the newspaper!

"Even though I'm on my own, I know I'm not alone," -Danny Worsnop
The acoustic version of an epic song,

Double Post!

Washington DC (Da Capital)

This is just a draft on my computer because the Atlantic Ocean does not provide WiFi. Because I don't have WiFi I don't remember what my last blog post was about....
In any case I'll just start with the goodbyes. Wednesday the 31st I said my goodbyes to New York. I never lived in New York but it's been a big part of my life from the very start. Truely I will miss that live, big city. At least though, where I'll be in Germany will be close to Frankfurt, another very active city.
Saturday the 3rd, my three good friends and I met up and spent a really good time together. We took a million pictures, watched Tangled, ate an amazing dinner cooked by my friend's mom, and baked and ate brownies. Honestly saying goodbye was hard. I didn't cry but I was very close to it. After that I went to a family party. That goodbye was a lot easier. Lots of laughs and pictures, but still that little edge of sadness.
You're probably wondering, "The 3rd? I thought she was leaving on the 8th."
The answer to your confusion is that I did leave on the 8th. However, I left New Jersey early. I went to spend the last few days in Rhode Isalnd were I have family as well. There I continued to talk to me host brother, which is quite amazing. I think I going to get along very well with him. An odd request that I recieved before leaving was that my host mother wanted to know if I could bring Aunt Jemima maple syrup. I know it sounds crazy but either way I did buy it for her.
From Rhode Island I left on the 8th to Washington DC. It was the first time I've ever flown within the states (not outside of it) and also the first time that I've flown by myself. It was however a fairly short ride and saying the final goodbye to my mom, grandma, aunt, and cousins was sad. I cried on the plane where I wouldn't make anyone else cry.
Once I got to DC just as I was about to pick up my luggage I found my first AFSer thanks to the yellow AFS tags! His name was Evan and he's from.....somewhere that I don't remember. He looks an awful lot like Daniel Radcliff sometimes, but of course I didn't tell him that. Together we found our bags and AFS staff with a few other AFSers.
We rode over to the hotel in a bus and there stayed till ten at night for the Gateway Orientation. We had lunch, dinner, and several breaks in between but either way it was a very long time just sitting there and listening to people talk about stuff. It was very interesting though, when they told us about they're experiences.
Next there was a really long fire drill. Yeah, I know at a hotel. -___-  Later we went to sleep and me and my roomate slept in! Haha! Yeah, AFS staff didn't find it funny but of course we did and so did our group.
Now let me talk to you about the group. In it were me, my roomate Kelsey from Alsaka, Kiera from San Diego, Evan from somewhere, Dustin from Idaho (he was super loud and annoying and he doesn't eat potatoes), Eliza from Alaska, Emma from Virginia Beach and that's it I think. Me and these guys got pretty close in a matter of two days. Including also another friend not part of the group, David from Virginia.
All these guys are really cool and I'm glad to have met them. Next on the list was our super cool and chill group leader Nina! Although she didn't go to Germany she did go to Argentina/Chile and Egypt. She was the one who knocked on Kelsey and my room door when this morning when it was time for the meeting. If you were wondering we overslept for two hours and missed breakfast. We made that up with granola bars and tea which was enough to sustain us until lunch.
Then we left to airport and now we're on the plane. We've been on it for like four hours and there's about three more to go. There's a digital map they show you that follows the progress of the plane and we are literally in the middle of the Atlantic. Crazy, right?! I am bored and tired and should get some sleep but instead I'll tell you what else happened. At the airport I bought a horrible tasting pretzel ate half of it and then on the plane I had a nice dinner of stuffed pasta and apple juice. Later I watched The Hangover for like the fifth time and then I started to write this because I got bored. But I guess I have to wrap it up now and try to sleep becasue my computer is very close to dying.
*sigh* Talk to you in Germany!

"From up here the city lights burn like a thousand miles of fire." - Dan Marsala      * watch the ending.
One of the most amazing songs.


DEAREST ELIZA  ;)



First day here was a long one. I did not sleep on the plane and when I got to Frankfurt and met my host family I gave them all a hug. They brought me a flower and stuffed dog toy. As you might imagine I was super excited. I met Oma Rita and she made a five hour trip over just to meet me. She was super nice and I was told that Christmas time we would visit her. Later that night I helped my host brother with his english homework. He's actually really good but he doubts himself a lot.

My host mom and dad took me to Fulda the next day. Its a place with a castle and we spent the whole day there. It was super. I had Knödel which is this German thingy that was really good! Later when I got home I hung out with my host brother Darius, talking about movies, books, drawing and a gajillion other things. he let me borrow three books in english that he has and were making plans to watch Lord of the Rings soon. 


Monday I went to school. I went to Herederschule for a Sprachkurs. People here in Giessen have a six week language course from nine to one monday through friday, and the best part is that is runs right through my first vacation... my two week long Oktober vacation. -______-  My teacher is alright except sometimes she looks at me too much. 


Yesterday we also had pancakes for dinner as requested by Darius. Interesting how they eat them. They're like crepes, huge and flat. You spread whatever on it and then you roll it up and eat it like a taco. No joke. They eat it with a lot of stuff. Syrup, nutella, jam, butter, honey, and bunch of other crap. 


Today I went to school again and when I came home I had a salad for break fast and later my host brother helped me with my German homework. I still have something more to do but it's due Thursday because tomorrow my class is going shopping at the Markplatz, so I have to do shopping for Isabel (host sister) since she'll be cooking dinner. 


I can honestly say everything is super. I feel like I fit in very well and my family is super cool and I talk to that cat and she meows back. I feel at home and have not felt homesick at all. But then again it's only been four days....


And now a list of observations and happenings. 
1.) My host mom is obsessed with liquids. She always tells me to drink some more. She has a whole drawer full of tea. And she drinks tea more than three times a day and every time it's more than one mug. 
2.) The bus and train systems are extremely complex. However it's not hard. After a two day exposure the third day you will be fine. 
3.) Germany doesn't seem to have cliques in the upper classmen. Now the the little kids either look nerdy or like little skaters. 
4.) Germans are not cold at all. If they don't know you they're a little shy but afterwords they're completely nice people. 
5.) A lot of people here ask for directions. They're not afraid to go out without knowing how to get there because they can ask anyone.
6.) There's no such thing as a person who looks German. Yes, there are a lot of white, blond people but also non- blondes and people of all the different colors skin, hair and eyes can be. 
7.) My German is really bad. 
8.) Being here makes me desperate to learn German as soon as possible. I really do wish I could participate in some conversations. :\
9.) Already two people have assumed I could speak German and have spoken to me in German and ended up walking away with a bummed face when I say, "Tut mir leid, ich sprechen nicht deutsch."
10.) They eat like there's no tomorrow. Not breakfast, lunch, and dinner but junk food. Ice cream, cake, candy, bread, a lot of things. 
11.) They have a lot of breads.
12.) My room is too clean. I need to get posters and such to make it cozier. 
13.) I can never find my house. All the houses here look the same.
14.) It can actually get to be very warm here. Warm and humid. 
15.) German grammar is incredibly hard. 
16.) No one ever seems to be in a rush.
17.) People say that Germans smoke a lot. I'm pretty sure I've seen many more people smoking in New Jersey. 
18.) Narrow streets for narrow cars. 
19.) If it doesn't get cold and the signs weren't in German I could swear to you that I was in the cleaner version of the Dominican Republic. 
20.) When you speak German to a German and he/she understand you, you feel amazing. 


"Keep the tapes rolling, just in case I say anything brilliant." -Alexander DeLeon
Lyrics in the description.

Scheisse! Sieben tage!

Only SEVEN DAYS. Can you believe? I'm super pumped and ready to go! Today Gello left for France, he's probably on the plane right now somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean... Have an amazing year buddy!  Every time I think about it I get this warm, fuzzy/ cold, anxious feeling.

Surprisingly I finished everything! I finished packing and it weighs only 30lbs. I got the euros I needed and I visited NY for the last time. All that's left is to pack my backpack leave.

Anyway I have some picture for you guys! First I wanted to show a few pictures of my host family.

In this one from left to right, my host sister Isabel, host mom, and host brother, Darius. (Click to make it larger... I think)

This one makes me laugh, a lot. My host dad and host brother. By the way these were taken while they were on vacation in Croatia.

 

This is their cute cat, Dassi!

And this is where I'll live! 

"The change is coming now," -Ben Walker 

Listen to this.

Come at me, bro.

I have a feeling that the Weather God is conspiring against me.

For starters, about three-ish days ago there was an earthquake on the east coast. The epicenter of the earthquake was in Virginia, extremely close to Washington D.C. Incidentally, the same exact place I'll be in, in less that two weeks!

And now the entire east coast is waiting for this mother flippin' hurricane to arrive. If they delay our flight I think I'm going to have a seizure.

Anyhow, there are lots of things going on besides these weatherly mishaps.

For one, I actually made a list of things to do before I leave and I'm almost done! So far I've:

• bought my plane ticket to D.C.
• got my four passport photos (for residential permit)
• bought a travel kit thingy with toothpaste and stuff
• bought a light-weight towel so I can have it with me if I need it
• exchanged some dollars for euros ( have 100 euros)
• I have my debit card and credit card
• I went to the post office to find out about shipping and mailing to Germany
• And I finished packing!!!!

 I have like three things left to do. So if you're an extreme procrastinator like me, you would know what a great accomplishment this is. 

Now on to the host family bizz. My host sister still kinda intimidates me. But, (drumroll please) I HAVE SPOKEN TO MY HOST BROTHER!!!
Actually we only talked once because it seems he's not an avid facebook user. Either way, I was flipping out.

Another thing, my host mom insist that I don't pack a lot of things. She got me a coat! I don't know if it's going to fit me but that fact that she went out of her way to get me one is truly, truly amazing and something I find very touching.

Also, I went to the post office to see about shipping my guitar over but my host family has one! My host mom said its thirty years old and doesn't sound quite nice, but I'm sure that's only because it's not tuned. So, I won't have to pay to ship it over or check it in at the airport and risk it being damaged.

She told me that they've been fixing my room too! Unlike my last post where I was super emotional and stuff right now I'm pretty much really excited. I still can't fully accept that this is really going to happen. What an awesome feeling is.

Finally to close this off I have a serious note and funny one. The funny one is, my host mom tells me that the family is impatiently waiting for my arrival. And that the neighbors ask about me as well. Apparently my soon-to-be neighbors are really excited too, lol.

And the final note. As you might already have figured out or not. Music is really important to me. Every post save for one is concluded with a fragment of a song. So now that I won't be in the country I might not find as many songs but I will continue to my best ability. Also, with the song fragment I would like to add a link to youtube of the song it comes from. But, my taste in music may not be the same as yours so just as a warning I listen to rock, punk, alternative, metal-core, metal etc. So (if you're curious) for the sake of your ears, if by chance there is a song too loud/hardcore I will label the fragment/quote with an asterisk.

Many musical greetings through this lovely storm and as Gerard Way says, "Shut up and sing it with me." ;)

Song    <-----This video is pretty awesome. WATCH IT.

*Smack*

I half finished packing but that still in progress.
Recently I've felt as if my emotions are out of flare. It just hit me now that I won't be here for ten months and that there will be very many things that I will miss. I spoke to Gello and he told me he's been that way since August began...

I find myself dosing off a lot, waking up in the middle of the night, or looking at something and randomly thinking "I'm going to miss that." Oh well, though. I've been using music as my therapy and so far it's working.

"Wake up, to the sound of this time bomb!" -Dan Marsala

Ein Monat!

One month left!!!!
So the day is approaching ever so slowly because believe it or not I feel that this has been one of the longest summers ever! Probably because I just really want to be in Germany right now.

Anyway these days have been extremely hectic. Everything is between making sure people know I won't be here, to making sure I'll have everything I need, to last minute fund raising, and spending time with people I will miss.  So this blog post will probably be very long so I'm going to make it into a list.

• First off, about my host family. I spoke to them once more and again my host mama is super nice. She told me that once I arrive in Frankfurt they'll be waiting for me at the airport. She also told me that they have a moderate climate so that I probably won't be needing a lot of cold weather things. But then again, she's German, her cold meter is different from mine, so I'll have to check out the temperature online. 
• Next, I would like to mention that I started packing. There's a certain way to approach packing. Since I'll be away for 10 months and I can only carry 44lbs. I have to do some heartless packing. When you pack heartlessly, you only have your clothes and two words: necessary and unnecessary. That way I'll be taking what I need and not what I want and I'll stick to the limit. Besides, I'll be buying things in Germany if I need to. 
• Third, I told my family about me leaving. Only a few people knew and I just told the rest of them not so long ago. There were mixed reactions as you can imagine. Some freaked out and some were happy. My aunt and uncle were very happy that I was going and I was a little anxious about their reaction since their own daughter has been to China before and is there right now for working purposes. Also my cousin's wife (cousin in law?) knew about AFS because when she lived in Peru she dated an Australian AFSer, haha. 
• I am making bracelets! And I'm selling them a dollar each. I've made several and have some people who already are going to buy so, I think I'll be able to raise some money with this. If you'd like one, leave me a message and I'm sure we can figure something out or you could email me at flo-flo_mentsha@hotmail.com
• I realized not so long ago just how good AFS really is. When I first submitted my application for AFS I emphasized my passion for both art (music, writing, painting etc.) and language. When I say emphasized I mean it was everywhere. So, I was looking up my future school online and I noticed that it said that it specializes on music! I spazzed. 
• I have to fly over to Washington DC. Considering the time I have to be there and where I live in I could easily leave from three airports. Right now, it looks like I'll be leaving from JFK. 

Okey, so that's the end of my list. There's still a lot more to do. I have to finish packing, I have to buy a few more things that I need, and I need to get another physical done. This last month I'll have to set my nerves aside and make it a good one.

"You're barely sleeping, no longer dreaming." -Andy Biersack

Haha, Sorry.

Completely disregard that last post. I go to DC on the 8th. I leave for Germany on the 9th and arrive on the 10th. So sorry.

"I confess, I messed up," -Patrick Stump`

Prepare for lift off...

Hello, Hello.

With my departure approaching AFS has been sending more emails. The last one I got, I thought I might want to share it. To my dismay, I will not departing from JFK airport as I had hoped. I'm actually departing from Dulles International Airport in Washington DC. I will arrive at Frankfurt/Main International Airport, which is just 60km from where I'll be living. Convenient, no?

The thing is, before I depart I have to have a gateway orientation, which is basically the last orientation in your country and it prepares you for arrival in the other country. This orientation, unlike the other two that I've been to, is country specific and it unites all the people from around the US going to Germany.

That's all really cool. My concern is that I have arrive to the orientation on the 8th of September, but I depart on the 11th. Is the orientation three days long? Because if not, what am I supposed to do for the rest of the days?

Back to the present, I keep waiting on the jobs. If I don't get called back by any of them I may just do babysitting. But time's running out and September is coming up faster than I expected. Despite it all, I am very eager and excited to be there already.

"Time is going by so much faster than I," - Chad Kroeger

Between Linden, Giessen, and the Host family

So my host mama responded! She is really, really, really, really nice. She sent me a picture of their cat, which really adorable, she also told me a few shocking things. In Linden (or maybe in all of Germany) school starts in August. I won't be going to Germany until September, and even when I get there I'll be taking an intensive course to learn German. That will last for a month, so I'll technically be missing two months of school, because I go in, in October.

To top it all off, I won't be going to school with my host brother. He's in tenth grade, the last grade in his school and I'll be in eleventh grade, in a school that's in another city. It's called Gesamtschule Gießen Ost. I guess that will be fun.... I've never been the new kid, so it'll be a new experience.

Host mama was also very supportive telling me she was going to help me in anything that I needed and that she was going to to help make my experience a lot more fun and stuff like that.

So, as bold as ever I searched for my host sister on facebook, I found her and added her as a friend. She accepted but when I checked out her wall I was super intimidated. I have never had a sister, if anything I've had close cousins...that are younger than me, not three years older and already out of school. And she knows an astonishing amount of english, which only adds more to my wariness.

"I feel the paranoia," -Tyson Ritter

Ouu-bear-ahh-shung!

That is the pronunciation for "Überraschung!" Which is German for "surprise" and was exactly what I received after coming home from a really hot day of job searching. 


I woke up spanking early (seven in the morning, mind you) and went to look for a job walking. It was not fun going in and out of stores by myself but I made the effort and in the end I filled out three applications and got two interview dates. I also got my working papers that day. Here was an awkward situation...


Me: Excuse me, are you hiring?
Man: Yes...
Me: Could I please  get an application?
Man: I don't have them. You have to do really heavy work. You have to lift things more than once. Can you do it? If you can't you're wasting my time. If you can I'll give you the job. 
Me: *looks at crates* I can do it!
Man: You can do it?
Me: Yes!
Man: Do you go to school?
Me: Yes!
Man: NO. This is a permanent job, not a summer job. You're wasting my time. *mutters*
Me: Kay.


So after that I came home really tired and checked my email and Überraschung! AFS matched me to a host family! I was super excited and still am. I have a host mom, Sigrid, a dad, Dieter (I have no idea how to pronounce the parents' names) a sister, Isabel, and a brother, Darius. The sister is, or is turning, 19 and the brother is 15, so I may be going to school with him. They also have a cat Dassi!

Though I'd tried really hard not to create any expectations I was really expecting on the location. They do not live in Hamburg, Leipzig, Magdeburg, or Berlin. But, they live 60km away from Frankfurt, in Linden (Großen- Linden). They even said that they had a train that went from Frankfurt to Linden, so I imagine it wouldn't be difficult at all to get there. Linden is pretty much in the middle of Germany. Since Germany is a funny shaped country you can kinda tell it's not in the north or west but, more towards the east and the south yet it still seems to be in the middle.



If you thought I was excited about the news you should have seen my grandma who went nuts. She was already trying to pick out the host family gift I'd be giving each of them (even though I already bought a few). And my mom was talking to me about what to wear since I now knew the region. She was also asking me if I was more likely to be with the brother or the sister. It's been really crazy around my house with the news, but I'm happy anyway and sent the an email. REPLY PEOPLE, REPLY!


"I'm on the verge breakdown, I'm on the brink of an epic meltdown." -Craig Mabbit