Slipping back into March

Hey there,

Today is Wednesday March 30, 2011 and nearly the end of the month. Here's what's been going on... I will try to put this in chronological order, but I'm almost positive I will be leaving something out.

Anyway, last time I blogged I was freaking out about the scholarship and I said I was going to do something about that. Well... I did. Gello and I went job hunting on a Saturday afternoon and it was a fairly tiring experience, yet rewarding, slightly. We had a mall full of stores and we came back with only two applications and about three or four online ones. Nearly all the stores hire people eighteen or older which honestly was a big disappointment, but still. We also had this hilarious hunt for a an AFS profile pic for Gello. We went to this pretty part of the town to take one picture, and we were there for more than twenty minutes. It was, nonetheless, very fun.

I also mentioned about getting a job at my uncle's office. Yeah... that's not going to happen. He's a great uncle, but a very frugal business man. And his office is a little too far for me to go to after school, unless I had a car.

Okey, so about my application. I handed in the CB in early March. CB is the Congress- Bundestag one, the one with the scholarship. Recently I received an email saying that my application was being sent to Germany! Now, it's up to Germany to accept it. If they give the okey, I believe that means I get the scholarship, so technically I'm half way there.
Also, I submitted my AFS application which is for the normal program. I am a special case though. When I sent it in, they sent it back to me requesting additional forms. Why? Well, because my mother is divorced and because I am a vegetarian. My mom had to upload some documentation, for when we get involved with the visa process and I had to upload an extra form pledging what I will eat and what I will not eat, and why. But I finished that and uploaded it.
Just a side note, when they emailed me telling me that they had accepted the CB application, they also told me that at the end of the month they would announce who received the scholarships. Today is the thirtieth, there's only one more day left to the month. But... AFS has a tendency of pushing dates back, so I guess it's not so certain that I'll get a response sometime soon.

So now we play the waiting game...

On a lighter note, I've been taking things easier this time. Though I still don't have a job, I've been searching in all the nooks and crannies of my home in search of saved up money. To my surprise I had about four hundred saved from Christmas and my birthday, and a lot of other scattered money in coat pockets and little boxes and many other places. I also started wrapping pennies in those penny wrapping papers. I have two big thingies full of pennies. Total I had about seven hundred dollars that I found! So, this month I've been really been getting things done, so I think everything will turn out fine, hopefully. Not to mention that I received a $2000 scholarship also. That lowers the total to $10,500. And I have saved about $3000 and my mom is willing to pay a round about of $3000 or $4000 so that makes it. $6000 or $7000 less. So that leaves the total to be $3,500 or $4,500. So that still leaves me some work to do, considering that I have to get host family gifts and personal expense money.

So, "I'm waiting, waiting, just waiting," -Greyson Chance

Then it hit me like a rock...

What if I didn't get the CB scholarship and couldn't pay the $12,500 to go study abroad. Truly, for a very long time I thought to myself "Don't get your hopes up, what are the odds of getting the scholarship." But somehow I forgot that my going to Germany depended greatly on that scholarship. Instead I carelessly went ahead and planned my next year in Germany. I started to look for things I might need there, clothes I might want while I was away, things I would take and things I would leave. And I wasn't taking anything seriously, it was all about going to Germany, but I had no back up plan.

Today, I realized that. I'm starting to stress about that and really I don't know what I should do. I was thinking maybe fundraisers, a job is definitely an option.

Maybe I'll ask my uncle if he can give me a job in his office...
I don't  know. Maybe I can get a job a my mom's job. They won't hesitate since they love my mom.

No matter what I do,  I need to get my act together and start saving. I calculated what I have and together with the $2000 scholarship I can receive if I don't get the full scholarship, I have about $6000. That's barely half of what I need, which is $12500.

You know when you're so full of "What do I do now?" that you kinda feel like you want to run away, or just go out and get lost? If you don't know then, great, hope you never feel that way. But if you do know then... that's how I'm feeling. Except there's nowhere for me to go and no way to get out.

So here's one I found, "I've got troubled thoughts and a self esteem to match, what a catch." -Patrick Stump